Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Rainbow
A rainbow can only be formed by conditions present, brought forth by the sheer weight and substance of what came before, in the past present. But now, behold the rainbow.
Hologram
One day almost a year ago (October 21, 2006, which if you look closely you can see encoded in the drawing), I sat down with paper and colored pens and doodled out my thoughts, letting them go where they wanted to go. The result was a colorful mishmash of words and lines, statements of my state that day and perhaps a kind of hologram of my life, as it stood that day and reflecting all other days. I found this piece of art recently and looked at it again.
A few weeks ago, or maybe more than a month, I don't remember, I got out a blank watercolor page the size of a bookmark, picked up my paintbrush, and created a bookmark.
I thought to put them together and see how they look.
If you click on the image, you can enlarge it enough to read the words.
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Removing the Veil
Removing the veil covering the dilemma is a topic I keep returning to, again and again. Perhaps it is because of my natural tendency toward "all or nothing" thinking. Now, before you accuse me (justified or not), let me admit right here and now: I am guilty! Yes, I see in black and white sometimes, forgetting about the colors. Sometimes, I see in colors and forget about the black and white. Both ways are all-or-nothing ways of seeing, or of not seeing the full spectrum, everything rather than just selected things, extreme things, while neglecting to see all else. The subtleties of life are such that we simply must remove our veils, the ones that blind us to what we are not seeing.
Okay, enough of an introduction. The dilemma is something we all face at one time or another. We think we have two options and that one must be discarded in favor of the other one. Neither option is desirable and yet we must deem one more undesirable than the other. But how often, I wonder, do we grab one of those "horns" because we cannot think of another thing to do? And how often do we end up disappointed because we chose one "bad" thing over another bad thing. Perhaps a different way of looking at the situation is in order here.
Very often, discussion of a matter leads people to a point where they decide, "We must decide!" And if the decision to decide is premature, then problems enter in. People feel misunderstood, cheated, betrayed, alienated, ignored, and any number of other uncomfortable states of being.
Discussion has its merits, without doubt, but it is dialogue that has the power to bring people into true communication with one another. It is dialogue that can cut through the negativity of all those things I just mentioned, being misunderstood, cheated, and so on.
I propose that next time you are faced with what looks like a dilemma, instead of choosing one unpleasant thing over another, try reframing the issue. Don't look at it as a dilemma but as an opportunity to add color, or to touch up with a dab of black, or of white, or even to blend the black and white into grey, or darken or lighten particular colors in your picture with either black or white to give them a different variation (brightness, for example) on the same hue.
This is all metaphor, of course, to represent the fact that life is like painting in that you can be highly creative with it. I am frustrated with some aspects of my life right now, am not getting the results that I have hoped for; but I haven't tried some things yet, and in no way will abandon creativity.
One of my biggest problems seems to be how to respond when a person doesn't behave as I think he or she should be behaving, as if my paltry wishes should or could dictate that person's behavior. Detaching from my own expectations is the beginning of allowing unfolding to occur as it should, as it must.
I will not give up hope that everything I desire is within my grasp, despite all obstacles and regardless of the dilemmas that crowd my imagination. That is the beauty of the imagination itself, the ability to shape and form it through seeing, until it finally begins to serve us in ways leading toward this eventual attainment of our our heart's desire, as individuals and as a community desirous of peace and harmony. It doesn't happen overnight; it is a gradual process; and while it isn't easy, it actually does ease tension once the barriers have been broken and real contact has been made.
Okay, enough of an introduction. The dilemma is something we all face at one time or another. We think we have two options and that one must be discarded in favor of the other one. Neither option is desirable and yet we must deem one more undesirable than the other. But how often, I wonder, do we grab one of those "horns" because we cannot think of another thing to do? And how often do we end up disappointed because we chose one "bad" thing over another bad thing. Perhaps a different way of looking at the situation is in order here.
Very often, discussion of a matter leads people to a point where they decide, "We must decide!" And if the decision to decide is premature, then problems enter in. People feel misunderstood, cheated, betrayed, alienated, ignored, and any number of other uncomfortable states of being.
Discussion has its merits, without doubt, but it is dialogue that has the power to bring people into true communication with one another. It is dialogue that can cut through the negativity of all those things I just mentioned, being misunderstood, cheated, and so on.
I propose that next time you are faced with what looks like a dilemma, instead of choosing one unpleasant thing over another, try reframing the issue. Don't look at it as a dilemma but as an opportunity to add color, or to touch up with a dab of black, or of white, or even to blend the black and white into grey, or darken or lighten particular colors in your picture with either black or white to give them a different variation (brightness, for example) on the same hue.
This is all metaphor, of course, to represent the fact that life is like painting in that you can be highly creative with it. I am frustrated with some aspects of my life right now, am not getting the results that I have hoped for; but I haven't tried some things yet, and in no way will abandon creativity.
One of my biggest problems seems to be how to respond when a person doesn't behave as I think he or she should be behaving, as if my paltry wishes should or could dictate that person's behavior. Detaching from my own expectations is the beginning of allowing unfolding to occur as it should, as it must.
I will not give up hope that everything I desire is within my grasp, despite all obstacles and regardless of the dilemmas that crowd my imagination. That is the beauty of the imagination itself, the ability to shape and form it through seeing, until it finally begins to serve us in ways leading toward this eventual attainment of our our heart's desire, as individuals and as a community desirous of peace and harmony. It doesn't happen overnight; it is a gradual process; and while it isn't easy, it actually does ease tension once the barriers have been broken and real contact has been made.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Bad art is okay!
I was messing around (literally) with paints the other day and created a really bad painting. Not wanting it to go to waste, I decided to butcher it a little and create a really bad collage! The centerpiece is not mine; it is a patch that I "patched" (actually glued) in. It says that I kitty bad kitties, and I do.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
It
It
is not personal,
it is common
knowledge;
and it is, too,
personal.
Is it uncommon
to experience the
extraordinarily
ordinary emotions
that we all know
far too well?
It knows that
not caring
means
not receiving.
I give it up,
again,
surrendering
all that,
the part of it,
that is outside
my control.
It is, and will be
forevermore,
in that space
that place
the untouchable.
Forgiven, but
who can forget?
It keeps coming back,
haunting, brooding.
Go away.
Okay.
Come back.
It is personal,
and yet it's not.
It is real,
and it is
real hands off
this time.
Palms up,
head down.
Squinting into
the distance,
with eyes closed.
is not personal,
it is common
knowledge;
and it is, too,
personal.
Is it uncommon
to experience the
extraordinarily
ordinary emotions
that we all know
far too well?
It knows that
not caring
means
not receiving.
I give it up,
again,
surrendering
all that,
the part of it,
that is outside
my control.
It is, and will be
forevermore,
in that space
that place
the untouchable.
Forgiven, but
who can forget?
It keeps coming back,
haunting, brooding.
Go away.
Okay.
Come back.
It is personal,
and yet it's not.
It is real,
and it is
real hands off
this time.
Palms up,
head down.
Squinting into
the distance,
with eyes closed.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Labyrinth of Petals
This is a watercolor painting of mine that is the inspiration for an ongoing story I have posted in another blog.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Monday, May 07, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
Secrets
It's really not a mystery. I have known "the secret" for quite some time now, but am just now watching the documentary film about it. Here are some notes I have been taking while watching.
Our job as humans is to hold on to the thoughts of what you want. Thoughts become things. See yourself living in abundance and you will attract things. The law of attraction is obedience. When you focus on what you want, with all of your intention, the law of attraction will give you what you want every time. It manifests the things you think about and is always working.
Focusing on what you don't want, what you're afraid of, causes exactly that to manifest. Whatever thoughts are predominant in your consciousness are the ones you attract.
You draw the community you are in to you.
The mind is shaping the very thing that is being perceived. You can cook a man's dinner with electricity; you can also cook the man. Nobody understands electricity, but we all use it.
An affirmative thought is much more powerful than a negative thought; this has been proven scientifically. There is a time delay; all of your thoughts don't come true instantly. The time delay serves you, allows you to think about what you want and to make a new choice.
Our job as humans is to hold on to the thoughts of what you want. Thoughts become things. See yourself living in abundance and you will attract things. The law of attraction is obedience. When you focus on what you want, with all of your intention, the law of attraction will give you what you want every time. It manifests the things you think about and is always working.
Focusing on what you don't want, what you're afraid of, causes exactly that to manifest. Whatever thoughts are predominant in your consciousness are the ones you attract.
You draw the community you are in to you.
The mind is shaping the very thing that is being perceived. You can cook a man's dinner with electricity; you can also cook the man. Nobody understands electricity, but we all use it.
An affirmative thought is much more powerful than a negative thought; this has been proven scientifically. There is a time delay; all of your thoughts don't come true instantly. The time delay serves you, allows you to think about what you want and to make a new choice.
Whatever is in your life right now, you have attracted.
The "fun begins" when you monitor your thoughts. Our feelings let us know what it is we are thinking. The emotions are a gift because they let us know what we are attracting. When you celebrate the good feelings, you draw those to you.
Our feelings are a feedback mechanism to us, about whether we are on track or not. Whatever you are thinking and feeling today is creating your future. You "get" what you are feeling about, not so much what you are thinking about.
You can begin to feel healthy and prosperous, feel the love that is around you, even if it's not there.
Your thoughts and your feelings create your life. Whatever thought has done in your life, it can be undone, through a shift in your awareness. Once you begin to understand, and truly master your thoughts and feelings, that's how you see that you create your own reality. That's where your power is; you are a deliberate creator of your universe.
Life should be and will be absolutely phenomenal when you start using the secret. "Your wish is my command," says the Genie, says the Universe.
The Creative ProcessThe "fun begins" when you monitor your thoughts. Our feelings let us know what it is we are thinking. The emotions are a gift because they let us know what we are attracting. When you celebrate the good feelings, you draw those to you.
Our feelings are a feedback mechanism to us, about whether we are on track or not. Whatever you are thinking and feeling today is creating your future. You "get" what you are feeling about, not so much what you are thinking about.
You can begin to feel healthy and prosperous, feel the love that is around you, even if it's not there.
Your thoughts and your feelings create your life. Whatever thought has done in your life, it can be undone, through a shift in your awareness. Once you begin to understand, and truly master your thoughts and feelings, that's how you see that you create your own reality. That's where your power is; you are a deliberate creator of your universe.
Life should be and will be absolutely phenomenal when you start using the secret. "Your wish is my command," says the Genie, says the Universe.
1. Ask. The universe responds to your thoughts. What do you really want? You might start by saying "I'm so happy and grateful now that ..." then explain how you want your life to be, in every area. It's really as easy as just placing your order with the universe.
2. Believe. Believe that it's already yours. The universe will begin to rearrange itself to make it happen for you. You don't need to know how it's going to come about, only that it will. It will be shown to you; you will attract the way.
We get frustrated and disappointed when we don't see the things we've requested. We become doubtful, then more disappointed. Recognize that feeling and replace it with unwavering faith.
3. Receive. Feel the way you'll feel when it arrives; feel it now. You put yourself in the frequency of what you're wanting when you feel good. Power comes from a combination of knowing something intellectually and feeling it, too. When you turn the fantasy into a fact, you're in the position to build bigger and better fantasies. Think about what will help you generate the feelings of having it now, then remember those feelings.
You might just wake up and it's there, it has manifested. Or you might be inspired with some idea of an action to take. The universe likes speed; don't delay, don't second guess. Don't doubt.
When the intuitive nudge is there, act. That's your job and that's all you have to do. You've got to pay attention to what you are attracted to. It literally moves into physical reality with and through you, by law.
How long will it take? There is no rule book. It is a matter of you being in alignment with the universe itself. The universe does everything it does with zero effort. You provide the feelings of having it now; it will respond.
Your Present Circumstances = Your Current Reality
When you want to change your circumstances, you must first change your thinking. You expect debt, and it continues to be there. You aren't your current state of affairs; that's who you were, the residual effects of the past.
Right now, you can begin to turn your life around by doing two or three things.
Gratitude
List what you are grateful for; it shifts your thinking. Appreciation attracts support. Whatever we think about and thank about, we bring about. Feel the feelings of gratitude about what you already have in your life.
Visualize
Visualize in order to materialize. If you've been there in the mind, you'll go there in the body. Dwell upon the end result; it's the feeling that creates the attraction. Put yourself in the feeling place of really being in the situation you want to create. Feel the joy, the happiness. That inner seeing is an open doorway through which the universe expressess....
The "how" will show up out of commitment to the "what." And the hows are the domain of the universe. Magic and miracles happen when you turn it over to the universe. You want to feel good about the whole process.
Integrating Visualization and Gratitude
Make a habit of using the law of attraction. Decide what you want; believe you can have it; believe you deserve it. Close your eyes and visualize already having it, feeling those feelings. Come out of that, and think about what you're already grateful for in your life. Then, go into your day and release it to the universe.
When you have inspired thought, you have to trust it and you have to act on it. Intend what you want. When you focus on lack and scarcity, you'll attract more of that; focus on abundance to create more abundance.
Do you treat yourself the way you want other people to treat you? Fill yourself up to fullness so you can overflow in giving. With a healthy respect and love for yourself, you will love others. In relationships, focus on what you appreciate about the other person; focus on acknowledging his or her strengths.
You're the only one who can be in charge of your joy, your bliss; it all lies within you. The mind is the biggest factor in the healing arts. Our bodies are constantly changing; stress degrades the body; remove it, and the body heals itself. You become what you think about.
Thoughts and emotions determine the physical substance of your body. People give energy to what they want and what they don't want. We "fight" against what we don't want (cancer, drugs, terrorism, etc.). Anger about a situation adds energy to it; this creates resistance. "What you resist persists," says Carl Jung. "Anti" movements create more of what we don't want, so focus instead on creating what you do want: trust, love, living in abundance, and so forth. If you're anti-something, be pro- its opposite (war/peace, poverty/abundance, etc.). Notice what you don't want, for contrast, but focus on what you want.
It's good to be informed, but you don't have to be inundated. The voice and vision on the inside should be louder than the opinions on the outside; this is a sign that you have mastered your life. Energy flows where attention goes; shift your attention toward what you want.
The beauty of the secret is that there is more than enough to go around, for everyone. The lack and limitation we imagine is a lie; living in fear breeds stinginess; those thoughts of fear and lack become experience. A mind that is aware of its own infinite nature experiences more of what is out there (love, joy, creativity, etc.) in abundance, with focus. Opening up our vision to see all that is around us dissipates what we view as "lack."
You have to get hungry, be intentional, want what it is you set your heart and mind upon. Recognize, bless, and praise the beautiful things around you. Don't spend your energy complaining about the things that aren't working. Embrace everything that you want so you can get more of it.
Everything is energy. We can get distracted by the body, which just holds the spirit. We are one way the universe is becoming conscious of itself.
Are the results of your life what you really want? Are they worthy of you? Victimization is real, yet so what. What do you choose now? You hold the pen, and the outcome to your story is what you choose. The law will begin to respond to your intentions. The power that's in you is greater than the power that's in the world. Every single "I'm not" you utter is a creation. "Whether you think you can or you can't, either way you are right," says Henry Ford. We are unlimited.
Your purpose is what you say it is; your mission is the mission you give yourself. Put yourself in a state of joy. Following your bliss becomes contagious. The Last Frontier is not space but mind. See yourself with the good that you desire.
The more you understand the secret, the more you'll use it. You deserve to be happy; you were born to add value to this world. You can be the best that you can be. All previous moments have prepared you for this moment. Nobody can dance your dance; who you are and what you do begins now. Your right thinking will guide and direct you, feed and clothe you, if you let it. Feel good.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Tough Times
I've been posting in another blog these past few days, feeling some weight and seeking release from it.
A Map of the Journey
Thanks to Alton for sharing this:
The practicioner dwells in stability and freedom. If you can keep your mind here and now with all attention, there is stability. That means our mind is not going to the past, it is not going to the future, so there is stability.
As your mind settles in this very here and now, pay attention to whatever is happening in your body or mind and you have stability and freedom. Because when you are paying total attention there is no thought.
Thought is a prison you are in. When we don't think we pay full attention. There is no greed in the mind because there is no thought. Greed is actually a thought. Without thought can you make yourself greedy? Just try it. Without thinking about a story, a person, a situation we cannot become greedy. So greed accompanies with a thought.
Also without thinking you cannot become angry. Right here and now there is nothing to be greedy about, nothing to be angry about. So this is freedom, no greed, no anger, just full attention. The mind is free from delusion and absentmindedness. We must be diligent today. To wait until tomorrow is too late.
From the cover of A Map of the Journey by u jotika
The practicioner dwells in stability and freedom. If you can keep your mind here and now with all attention, there is stability. That means our mind is not going to the past, it is not going to the future, so there is stability.
As your mind settles in this very here and now, pay attention to whatever is happening in your body or mind and you have stability and freedom. Because when you are paying total attention there is no thought.
Thought is a prison you are in. When we don't think we pay full attention. There is no greed in the mind because there is no thought. Greed is actually a thought. Without thought can you make yourself greedy? Just try it. Without thinking about a story, a person, a situation we cannot become greedy. So greed accompanies with a thought.
Also without thinking you cannot become angry. Right here and now there is nothing to be greedy about, nothing to be angry about. So this is freedom, no greed, no anger, just full attention. The mind is free from delusion and absentmindedness. We must be diligent today. To wait until tomorrow is too late.
From the cover of A Map of the Journey by u jotika
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Working through Grief
Still trying to work through the grief of this tragedy in Virginia, heart heavy with condolences and love for the people personally touched by the horrific crimes perpetrated on Monday.
The boy perpetrator (whose soul is now out of body and in the world of spirit) who stole life and liberty from innocent victims, sending their families and friends into spiraling grief and untold agony, was in a way a scapegoat, a sponge that had become saturated with so many of society's ills - the greedy materialism, the arrogance of the privileged, hedonism, narcissism, and more.
He believes he went out in a blaze of martyred glory, a victim of torture and heartbreak. Yet look at all the hearts he broke, grieving parents, children, siblings, spouses, friends.... He created a living nightmare for so many people, especially those touched personally by what he did.
The thing is, we all share some of his symptoms, feelings of neglect and being victims of the cruelty of others. Who hasn't felt those things to some degree? The way people work with the injustices in their lives can determine their mental health.
Let me rephrase that: How I work with the injustices in my own life will determine my mental health. We are only as ill as that which we create.
Feed your soul with spirituality, Christ-consciousness, whatever you choose to call that nourishment we all crave and need, and you write a life story that has meaning. You author a valuable life worth noticing.
This boy wanted desperately to be noticed. He wanted someone to say, "Hey. I like you, dude." He apparently wasn't able to say this to himself, though. Where are his parents now, and how are they processing this tragedy....
The boy perpetrator (whose soul is now out of body and in the world of spirit) who stole life and liberty from innocent victims, sending their families and friends into spiraling grief and untold agony, was in a way a scapegoat, a sponge that had become saturated with so many of society's ills - the greedy materialism, the arrogance of the privileged, hedonism, narcissism, and more.
He believes he went out in a blaze of martyred glory, a victim of torture and heartbreak. Yet look at all the hearts he broke, grieving parents, children, siblings, spouses, friends.... He created a living nightmare for so many people, especially those touched personally by what he did.
The thing is, we all share some of his symptoms, feelings of neglect and being victims of the cruelty of others. Who hasn't felt those things to some degree? The way people work with the injustices in their lives can determine their mental health.
Let me rephrase that: How I work with the injustices in my own life will determine my mental health. We are only as ill as that which we create.
Feed your soul with spirituality, Christ-consciousness, whatever you choose to call that nourishment we all crave and need, and you write a life story that has meaning. You author a valuable life worth noticing.
This boy wanted desperately to be noticed. He wanted someone to say, "Hey. I like you, dude." He apparently wasn't able to say this to himself, though. Where are his parents now, and how are they processing this tragedy....
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Personality Disorder
Here is an article about soldiers losing their benefits due to spurious diagnoses. How Specialist Town Lost His Benefits , by Joshua Kors
This brings many things to mind, including a fairly recent (within the last year) conversation I had with a psychiatrist who works primarily with veterans, about how many people who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) actually had suffered childhood traumas in addition to any trauma suffered while on duty in the military. This is not to diminish the significance of anything that has been suffered in combat but just to say that problems might have started even earlier than the military experience.
In any case, to be denied benefits for injuries sustained while on active military duty is grossly unfair.
This brings many things to mind, including a fairly recent (within the last year) conversation I had with a psychiatrist who works primarily with veterans, about how many people who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) actually had suffered childhood traumas in addition to any trauma suffered while on duty in the military. This is not to diminish the significance of anything that has been suffered in combat but just to say that problems might have started even earlier than the military experience.
In any case, to be denied benefits for injuries sustained while on active military duty is grossly unfair.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Reply to Walt
In response to a recent posting, "Sadness," my dear friend Walt wrote:
Thank you for these thoughts, Walt. One person's actions can never determine another's mental health, although those actions can influence it. Ultimately, mental health is up to the individual.
Childhood and other influences have a definite impact on who you are, or who I am, the person you or I have become. What any one of us chooses to do comes from inside, not from the outside, and not because of what someone else did or didn't do. Good deeds or bad ones, it doesn't matter. Nobody "makes" you do anything, unless of course it is by coercion, which is something different.
I don't understand how one person's actions can determine another's mental health. Its like "you made me do it" all over again.
Thank you for these thoughts, Walt. One person's actions can never determine another's mental health, although those actions can influence it. Ultimately, mental health is up to the individual.
Childhood and other influences have a definite impact on who you are, or who I am, the person you or I have become. What any one of us chooses to do comes from inside, not from the outside, and not because of what someone else did or didn't do. Good deeds or bad ones, it doesn't matter. Nobody "makes" you do anything, unless of course it is by coercion, which is something different.
Today
Here I am with my mother! This picture was taken on Monday afternoon, when I stopped by my mother's house on the way to a town north of there, to attend a dinner hosted by a fraternal organization I joined in college. My friend who died, Lisa, was a member of this same organization. Seeing Lisa's picture on the wall of the lodge that day, one face among a composite of other faces, taken in 1980, brought those days back to life, if only momentarily.
I have a couple of shoe boxes full of photos and other memorabilia from days gone by. At the memorial service, I had told one of Lisa's sisters that I would send her some photos. So, there I was two days ago sitting on the bed with all these old memories flooding back, looking through those shoe boxes. I found the pictures I was looking for, and sent them as promised, along with a letter.
It's amazing what the death of a close friend will do. Even though Lisa and I had been out of touch for many years, I feel no less close to her today than I ever did. She touched my life in special ways; nobody else could have filled her shoes.
Well, another thing has come to mind this morning. It was inspired by a phone conversation with my brother last night. He is retired from the military and mentioned a present controversy related to treatment of soldiers returning from combat and how some are being denied proper treatment because of previously existing "personality disorders." The thing is, these alleged disorders were never identified before; they are just coming to "light" now, when the soldier is seeking treatment. I need to find out more about this.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
In Loving Memory
Today I attended a memorial service for my friend, Lisa Jo Miller McCollough. How sad it was to learn the circumstances of her death, so young. Lisa was 47 years old and I regret that she and I didn't keep in touch over the years. We had a "falling out" many years ago, and just never spoke to each other again after that. I held no grudges against her, but at the same time didn't make the effort to mend what had been broken in our friendship. One of the points the minister made in his message today is how Lisa was "broken." It's true, she had chosen a self-destructive path and it led to her eventual death, of cirrhosis of the liver. I wonder whether it would have made a difference if I had made the effort to contact her. I had no idea about her suffering, but if anyone had told me things had gotten as bad as they did, I surely would have called her.
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